*Date: Fri, 17 May 2002 *
Subject: rooster duty
*From: berto_alto@tank20.com *
To: You
Dear You,
I traded some information (7th grade genetics)
for a new blue Renaissance Crayon!
Fair Warning
whispers
Good morning.
And I really mean “good morning”!
beckons you closer
In fact, I feel it’s my responsibility to warn you
that I am a . . . um . . . morning person
hope that’s OK
crosses fingers
I know in some cases that can be a relationship-killer
I mean . . .
I’m relentlessly and ruthlessly cheerful & gabby
in the mornings
For example . . .
whispers excitedly
I am so stoked about having this lifeline
of words and pictures with you
(write me if I’m being too obnoxious)
that all day yesterday I was planning this here e-mail
wherein I now propose to take you around with me on . . .
Rooster Duty!
still whispering
. . . which is where MPs (Morning People) like me
roust everyone
and it gives me the opportunity to show you around the camp
tiptoeing; beckoning
C’mon!
hehehehehe
hohohhohoho
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
Lay of the Land
This morning we’re in a typical mountain field-camp set-up
which means most of the knights are in
these big stupid heavy wool tents
with their squires and grooms
sleeping outdoors nearby
So . . . protocol, protocol . . .
I have to give the knights a first call, like this . . .
Hee-haw, Jamie!
laughs
This knight is Jamie-the-Bull
a broker from Chicago
and he is completely grumped out . . .
But, protocol aside,
the Lay of the Land in camp
is essentially by cultural affinity group
. . . for example, let’s visit the . . .
The Historical Re-enactment Crowd
. . . who, from the first day,
have always congregated in a clump
despite their different re-enactment specialties:
Medieval, Civil War, Renaissance Swordplay, etc.
Their part of camp always feels like
a traditional American family campsite
(well, that’s partially because one of them adopted a kid
and Jr. is always tottering around the open fire
making me want to run in and scoop him away from it)
I didn’t think about it before I got back here —-
Q: Who would want to go back into the past?
Q: Who would be good at it and get hired?
A: Historical re-enactment buffs!
Well, it makes sense, I suppose
but it still caught me by surprise . . .
Who are the most experienced jousters?
People who used to work Renaissance Faires
and Medieval Times restaurants!
Fantasy becomes reality.
It’s like if there was a planet of cartoon characters
people with theme park experience would be
among the first to voyage there.
My brain hurts.
Five Civil War Buffs Under One Blanket
Rise and shine!
It’s amazing how fast you get used to sleeping outdoors
Even in the mountains when its cold
The Goth Kids
“spawn of the dark”
“sprawled with drool”
the sweet Heavy Metal Goth Kids awake hungover
out of habit
whether they’ve boozed or not
Cock-a-doodle-god-damn-doo.
Everyone’s so sweet and vulnerable
when they’re just waking up
The Goth Kids are the precise opposite of morning people
The Goth Kids arguably take the prize
for “Most Surprised by What It’s Like Back Here”
(the prize itself, incidentally, is a bronze
statuette of a guy smacking himself on the forehead
and going “Shoulda stayed awake in History class!”)
Regine and the Hard Corps
Regine, of course, is awake and sitting around already
along with the hard corps
(Skip, Julio, Superstar, some others)
These are the people that
(unofficially) run Blue Company
(even though the Financial Types
are supposed to call the shots)
Regine really “Rides the Snake”—-
She’s here for very definite personal reasons
. . . she keeps them private . . .
but you can tell there’s a spiritual component
and her hobby is talking with midwives
and collecting medical know-how
which is so smart!
Because the big crimes for us are:
a) leaving objects in this time period, and
b) taking objects from this time period
. . .so she collects knowledge
She’s a great example of Job Survival Skills.
Portfolio Analyst Assessing
Overnight Mouse Damage
To Her Tunic
Up and at ‘em!
The Financial Types
These are the people for whom the corporation
is their life
it’s frat/sorority city in this part of camp
this, in some insane way, is part of their
career path
They spend their time talking about investments
and houses their gonna buy when they get back
to the 21st
They’re the whiniest
They gripe about this job as though it was just a normal job
They’re insane.
Here’s What’s Hysterical:
When an emissary approaches our camp
early in the morning
By the time the emissary is allowed through the sentries
we have to be all completely
in traditional hierarchy
Knights, Squires, Grooms
you should see people
waking up bleary
trying to remember
if they are playing Knight or Groom this month
wobbling like toddlers
trying to find
their horse and lance
Quixote Boys
When we first got here
somebody dubbed
two particularly gung-ho Medieval Re-enactment lads
“The Quixote Boys”
. . . but since then, Skip and I’ve been using
the gender-neutral noun “Quixote”
to denote a state of mind
to which everyone’s susceptible
“We’re all Quixotes in this company.”
. . . and we go back and forth about
whether it’s a good or bad thing
Sometimes it seems so phoney.
Sometimes it seems like the only way for people to evolve —-
by trying things out
by pretending
by being “pretentious”
What do you think?
Virii
Thanks for your warning on the computer viruseseses.
I hope I don’t accidentally send you one.
But, unlike diseased delivered by regular mail
a computer virus can’t kill you. Yet.
Everyone’s Awake Now
I’ve Got to Run
They’re standing in line to brush teeth with twigs
(Thanks for your kind offer to send us back
a tube of toothpaste! Root-beer flavor, please!)
(note the two Financial love-birds who always wear the same
blanket)
After eleven months
so many of the company still get dressed up
in their costumes
and kinda
parade up and down in front of each other
in the morning
the Goth Kids over here
the Re-enactment types over there . . .
it’s so sweet!!
Your friend,
Bert’aut