It was a game, is all. That summer we needed something to distract us. Because all that stuff we’d hoped for wasn’t going to happen. None of it. Different reasons for each of us, but they all came down to the same thing: at least another year stuck. Right here. Jen started it. She tears…

The mail lady stopped me on the street, pointing to the house kitty-corner from mine. Had I seen those people? She couldn’t fit any more mail into the box. “Come to think of it,” I said, “I can’t remember the last time.” I would say they were a professional couple, lean gray suits coming and…

First they banned novels, because they said — reasonably enough — that the world was complicated enough and the problems of the world grave enough, without the distraction of imagined worlds and non-existent problems. I was a young man back then. I remember standing outside the City Hall and watching the people bring cart-loads of…

Before his father ruins everything and they no longer have car trips, Daniel thinks about the future of family radio. When the whole family is in the car, his father rules a classic rock kingdom where everyone but his sister and her headphones resides. When his father is not in the car, the radio belongs…

On Telling This Story The epidemics were relentless, like the epidemic of laziness—during that one I couldn’t have even told this story, not that I am sure I wanted to tell it, not that I am sure I want to tell it now. The telling is relentless, too. + The Man in the Hills We…

First of all, don’t complicate things. You only need one card. If you’re a Persian-Jew, be Persian. If you’re a poor Arab, that’s great, that’s quite sad, but also a bit redundant. Just say which country, which village you’re from. If you’re mixed, pick the one with the most syllables or better, the one currently…

You found out one day that the man you loved was a duck. This bothered you at first; how did you not equate his words with quacking? How could you have inspired such a transition? Were you a quackologist, a webbed-foot animal whisperer? When he came to you, waking up beside you where your lover…

My wife wanted me to grow a beard. “If I could do it myself,” she said, “I would.” “But I thought women hated beards.” “Maybe I have beard envy.” The next morning I didn’t shave. I didn’t look much different. My wife kept touching my face. “Just checking,” she said. We went to the supermarket.…

John does not own a wall mirror. “Sorry,” he says “we can use each other’s eyes to know we are human, okay?” He does not believe in reflections. There are drops of semen on my lips when he says he loves me for the first time, and tears. I do not dry them. + Twelve…

A man and a woman fall in love and are married, and are happy in every single way. Then one day a flying saucer lands in their backyard, and a door opens and an alien comes out. I’m going to have to take one of you away, it says. What? say the man and woman.…

“So,” she says smiling, “do you think this guy is stalking you or what?” They are going out to lunch together. She is the intern. She is young and vibrant, if a little weird and awkward, with her interest in graphic novels, Spider Man, and him, all things he is interested in as well. He…

My father made me sleep with snakes. They were mutt snakes he’d captured in a spring-loaded Folgers coffee can out back of our trailer where the tawny grass grew patchy and bug-infested. That first night I ran around the bed screaming until both my throat and pupils bled. Dad banged the door. He said he’d…