Customs Naked, they lay in bed staring at the ceiling, as if it were a camera. Talking to it, laughing, high from adrenaline and sex, the smell of them. The fire alarms were quiet now, and the only sound was the hiss of the wind, the motion of a car on the street stories below.…

“In the name of God, please let me die in peace!” Those are the last words of Voltaire. Then he looked at the priest standing above his bed and died. “Crito, I owe a cock to Asclepius; will you remember to pay the debt?” Those are the last words of Socrates. Then he drank some…

It was a murmured buzzing, a beeping, a maniacal monotone creature chirping. It was in his head. It was impossible to get out. He roiled the sheets till sleep was gone. He emptied the drawers. He unplugged the TV. He shook the alarm clock until it rattled. He muffled the clothes hangers. He stood in…

We showed each other pictures of our kids. The girl is my favorite, you said, I can’t help it. It’s true. Before we were almost lovers we talked about where we were from. We found the six degrees that separated us and longed to shrink that number to none. Before we were almost lovers I…

Mary the virgin sets the tables I was a waitress in a little café in a small town in California. I’d always wanted someone to come into town and take me away on the back of his big black motorcycle. Some wild man, some lawless man. I wouldn’t ask where he was going — he…

The night that cats were wished away was a hard one full of wine, tears, and spectacle. Even those of us who were indifferent to feline companionship felt heart broken for those who weren’t, and together our humid, grieving silence was more tangible than the awe-filled silence that followed the disappearance of cancer. We were…

Forty-five seconds is all I have, maybe sixty if I stretch. I pace the green room beforehand, get my heart rate as high as it will go without running. If you run backstage, the audience can hear your footfalls. I start my entrance as far out as I can. There’s a window onstage, and I…

I don’t like it when Luke wins at things because he makes bombs. I know this is absurd, but people who make bombs shouldn’t win things. The ability to blow someone off the planet ought to be enough. Tonight he beat me at Scrabble. It was a bogus win — he really has no vocabulary…

Dean and the fat kid were coming. Brian looked at the door to the house, then back at Dean, then back at the house. Too far. He would make it, but they would see him and Dean would make things worse for him next time. They knew Brian’s mother wouldn’t get home for another hour.…

1. A man and a duck walk into a bar. The bartender says, “I’m sorry. We don’t serve gorillas.” “This isn’t a gorilla, he’s a duck,” says the man. The bartender replies, “I was talking to the duck.” The man and duck sit quietly for a moment. Somewhere in the distance pool balls collide. Finally,…

“It wasn’t the mall,” I hear Jessica say. “He left her at a Safeway. Tied up in the trunk of her car.” I hear this from a distance, just as I hear the drone of the boat’s engine and the echoing sound of a soda can being opened by one of the men on the…

Le Pue sat on the patio of a café, drinking lemonade through a striped straw. Le Pue’s legs were crossed, one knee over the other. Le Pue wore leather loafers and tailored white pants. Le Pue, of course, could not be seen. Le Pue could not be seen, and so Le Pue could not order…